Dear Baby #3 on the inside

Dear Baby #3 (on the inside),

I think it won't be long until you are here with us on the outside, so I wanted to write you some thoughts and document some memories about your time with us while you were on the inside.  I haven't done very well at documenting your pregnancy, and I fear once you are out in the world I will be even worse at this sort of thing, so I'm trying to do some of this now.  

First of all, you will come to know that you were quite the surprise.  A surprise yes, but unwanted, undesired, or unconsidered definitely not.  After your sister Kate was born, I couldn't shake the feeling that she would be a middle child.  This made no sense to me, as we hadn't set out to have any specific number of children.  It worried me, for her sake, that she might get left out as the middle child.  But your papa continued to tell me not to worry about this, she had only just been born.  But this thought stayed with me, that we weren't done having children, and honestly it surprised me.  It surprised me so much that I knew the idea of you must have come from God, because it certainly didn't come from myself.  As I sat with the idea, it began to spark into a desire.  But, as you will learn, if you ever have kids of your own, having two small children is completely exhausting, so your papa and I thought that though it might be wonderful to have another one, that would have to wait for now.  

So imagine our surprise when God decided you would arrive a mere 17-18 months after your sister Kate!  I saw this...

And I didn't quite believe it, so then I saw this...

And then I texted your daddy this...

We were stunned to say the least, but I can't say that God hadn't been warning or preparing me in some way.  Then I read this...

And then of course the morning sickness (or as you and all my babies like to give me...all day sickness) began...and continued.  And the exhaustion...and everything else in life just kept going on.  The idea of another baby so soon was just overwhelming.  So despite the fact that I was hurtling towards the reality of having 3 children in under 4 years, I've been clinging to the fact that I knew that God had a plan for you.  He put the idea of you in my heart and mind.  And that has been growing over the last 8 months just as you have been growing.

6 weeks

8 weeks

12 weeks

22 weeks

35 weeks

You've now been growing for 36 weeks.  We've heard your heart beat...

And last week we even got to see you sucking!  This video does not do your cuteness justice.  

When I saw that last ultrasound, and saw you sucking away, and what a cute chubby baby you are becoming, my heart welled up with love and excitement to meet you.  That idea of you that God planted in me so many months ago is becoming a reality.  We can't wait to meet you, get to know you, and see what a wonderful part of our family you will be.  I admit, I'm pretty uneasy about what the details of life will be like after you join us, but I am so very excited to know who you are. It's so incredible to be on the precipice of knowing you.  Right now I can't imagine at all what life will be like with you here, but in a few short days or weeks, I won't be able to imagine what life was like before you.

So dear baby #3, we love you, and we can't wait to meet you.  You will arrive as God's planned child, in His timing, and you will usher us into an amazing new adventure in life.  

Love,

Your mommy