My mom passed away this last Saturday, March 17, 2012.
A blog post about this will not do this life event justice, as there are really no words for the situation. But for now, it is my best attempt trying at trying to remember and process what has happened.
Today, the eulogy that I wrote, with the help of my dad and grandma, will be read at her memorial in Oregon. After writing this, I realized what a poor attempt eulogies are at capturing someone's life. We can never accurately sum up a life or how it has impacted us, but perhaps it is a glimpse into who they were. Here is what we came up with.
****
Susan
Gonzales was born on June 15, 1956 in Inglewood, CA. Her early years
were spent near Stanford where her father attended college. In 1958,
her family moved to Southern California. In 1959, the family moved to
Venezuela where her father Carlos worked as a petroleum engineer for
Mobil Oil.
During
those childhood years in Venezuela, Susan first started showing her
love and connection to all living things. She was intrigued with all of
nature, including the tropical life around her like plants, bugs,
frogs, and even snakes. When the house had reptilian visitors, as was
common in Venezuela, Susan did not bat an eye, but rather was fascinated
by their company.
In
1964, the family moved back to Southern California. Susan went to
Victor Elementary School and graduated, as valedictorian, from West High
School in Torrance. In high school, she was very involved in the music
department, including a variety of choral groups and played piano. She
sang in Aristocracy at West High School and she traveled to Japan with
the Southern California Youth Chorale.
At
a young age, Susan had a gift for music, but did not enjoy the
spotlight. She preferred to sing in groups or accompany people on
piano. She disliked being the center of attention so much that for one
piano recital, she refused to play on stage, so her teacher recorded her
performance, and she sat in the audience listening while the recording
played.
Susan
attended Stanford University from 1974-78, where she graduated with her
Bachelor of Arts in Piano Performance. She continued on at Stanford
from 1978-79 where she earned her Master of Arts in Music Education.
Susan had a voracious appetite for learning and would sometimes take a
full load of classes and still audit another. In college, she also
explored all kinds of different interests such as belly dancing,
gymnastics, and many other subjects outside of music.
It
was during her graduate program at Stanford where Susan met her
husband-to-be, David Drom. Susan and David soon discovered they had a
deep connection and mutual respect for each other. For Susan, equality
and respect were critical issues. After a six month courtship that
affirmed their deep love for each other, Susan and David were married in
August of 1979 before moving to Hollister, CA to start their first
respective teaching positions.
One
amusing anecdote from their time at Stanford was when Susan and David
were reminiscing about high school experiences with music. They had
both attended the same state honor choir and band event at Cal State
Fullerton. Susan was in the choir and David was in the band. David
remembered meeting a girl during a lunch break and tried to make
conversation with her. Trying to find out whether she was in band or
choir, David asked the girl “Are you a singer or a musician?”. The girl
promptly got up to leave and saying, “I’m both!” Upon hearing this
story from David, Susan remembered this shared experience, and said
“That was you?!”. They realized that Stanford was not the first place
they had met, but in fact had met each other for the first time years
before at that choir and band event. Not only had their relationship
come a long way from this moment, but this memory also shows the
importance of words and labels to Susan.
In
August of 1980, Susan and David’s daughter, Elaine, was born. The
family of three lived in Gilroy from 1982-1992, where David taught music
and math, and Susan enjoyed gardening and writing, including an opinion
column in the Gilroy newspaper. She continued to make music with a
madrigal singing group called Tudor Rose and played the organ for their
church.
In
addition to her involvement with music, writing and gardening while in
Gilroy, Susan was very gifted with sewing, needle point, and making
things for the home. She made chair cushions, curtains, quilts, and
many other things. When her daughter requested to have her room
redecorated in purple for her 8th
birthday, Susan took it upon herself to do this completely by hand.
She sewed purpled duvet covers, pillow cases, curtains, table runners,
and she and David painted the furniture white and the walls light
purple. To Elaine’s delight, her birthday brought an unveiling of a
completely new bedroom, all in purple.
She
enjoyed being a mother and being able to rediscover the world through
Elaine’s eyes. She was conscientious and observant and tried to parent
with intentionality and love, while learning more about herself and the
world around her.
In
1992, the family moved to Troutdale, OR where Susan continued her
gardening and writing. In 2005, David and Susan bought a house with
three acres in Corbett, OR, where Susan pushed her gardening skills to
the limit. While in the Pacific Northwest, Susan was invited to join
the Corbett Garden Club, participated in the local chapter of IONS
(Institute of Noetic Sciences), expanded her awareness and political
activity for social justice, and marched against war.
Susan’s
approach to life was that of a constant learner. She voraciously
studied and read about any thing that might peak her interest. She was
never content with basic information, but always had a thirst for
knowledge, understanding, and connection.
****
After
struggling with melanoma, Susan passed away peacefully, surrounded by
family, on March 17, 2012. Susan is survived by her husband David Drom
(Corbett, OR), her daughter Elaine Zuber (Santa Clara, CA), her parents
Carlos and Diane Gonzales (Torrance, CA), and her brothers John Gonzales
(Monte Sereno, CA) and Daniel Gonzales (San Francisco, CA). Susan had
one granddaughter, and was expecting another granddaughter in July 2012.
There
will be a local memorial to celebrate Susan’s life on Thursday, March
22, 2012 at 4:00pm at Trinity Lutheran Church in Gresham. A second
memorial will be held in Torrance, CA at Christ the King Lutheran Church
on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 3:00pm. In lieu of flowers or gifts,
the family would prefer donations in Susan’s name to the American
Friends Service Committee.
*****
Here are some of my favorite photos of my mom over the years. There are no words to describe the lack of her presence in the world, but I hope you enjoy seeing her beautiful smile.
After college, age 23
My parent's wedding, age 23, 1979
In matching handmade dresses to match Elaine's American Girl Doll, age 34
In the garden in Corbett, OR
A break from scything, Corbett, OR
 |
| At grandparent's 50th Wedding Anniversary |
At my wedding, 2007
After a major snow in Corbet, OR, 2008
With Emeline for the first time, 2010
With Emeline
With my dad and Emeline
Four Generations at Emeline's first birthday
Showing Emeline the plants at Rancho San Antonio
