My Mom

My mom passed away this last Saturday, March 17, 2012.

A blog post about this will not do this life event justice, as there are really no words for the situation.  But for now, it is my best attempt trying at trying to remember and process what has happened.

Today, the eulogy that I wrote, with the help of my dad and grandma, will be read at her memorial in Oregon.  After writing this, I realized what a poor attempt eulogies are at capturing someone's life.  We can never accurately sum up a life or how it has impacted us, but perhaps it is a glimpse into who they were.  Here is what we came up with.

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Susan Gonzales was born on June 15, 1956 in Inglewood, CA.  Her early years were spent near Stanford where her father attended college.  In 1958, her family moved to Southern California.  In 1959, the family moved to Venezuela where her father Carlos worked as a petroleum engineer for Mobil Oil.

During those childhood years in Venezuela, Susan first started showing her love and connection to all living things.  She was intrigued with all of nature, including the tropical life around her like plants, bugs, frogs, and even snakes. When the house had reptilian visitors, as was common in Venezuela, Susan did not bat an eye, but rather was fascinated by their company.

In 1964, the family moved back to Southern California.  Susan went to Victor Elementary School and graduated, as valedictorian, from West High School in Torrance. In high school, she was very involved in the music department, including a variety of choral groups and played piano. She sang in Aristocracy at West High School and she traveled to Japan with the Southern California Youth Chorale.

At a young age, Susan had a gift for music, but did not enjoy the spotlight.  She preferred to sing in groups or accompany people on piano.  She disliked being the center of attention so much that for one piano recital, she refused to play on stage, so her teacher recorded her performance, and she sat in the audience listening while the recording played.

Susan attended Stanford University from 1974-78, where she graduated with her Bachelor of Arts in Piano Performance.  She continued on at Stanford from 1978-79 where she earned her Master of Arts in Music Education.  Susan had a voracious appetite for learning and would sometimes take a full load of classes and still audit another.  In college, she also explored all kinds of different interests such as belly dancing, gymnastics, and many other subjects outside of music.

It was during her graduate program at Stanford where Susan met her husband-to-be, David Drom.  Susan and David soon discovered they had a deep connection and mutual respect for each other.  For Susan, equality and respect were critical issues. After a six month courtship that affirmed their deep love for each other, Susan and David were married in August of 1979 before moving to Hollister, CA to start their first respective teaching positions.  

One amusing anecdote from their time at Stanford was when Susan and David were reminiscing about high school experiences with music.  They had both attended the same state honor choir and band event at Cal State Fullerton.  Susan was in the choir and David was in the band.  David remembered meeting a girl during a lunch break and tried to make conversation with her.  Trying to find out whether she was in band or choir, David asked the girl “Are you a singer or a musician?”.  The girl promptly got up to leave and saying, “I’m both!”  Upon hearing this story from David, Susan remembered this shared experience, and said “That was you?!”.  They realized that Stanford was not the first place they had met, but in fact had met each other for the first time years before at that choir and band event.  Not only had their relationship come a long way from this moment, but this memory also shows the importance of words and labels to Susan.

In August of 1980, Susan and David’s daughter, Elaine, was born.  The family of three lived in Gilroy from 1982-1992, where David taught music and math, and Susan enjoyed gardening and writing, including an opinion column in the Gilroy newspaper.  She continued to make music with a madrigal singing group called Tudor Rose and played the organ for their church.

In addition to her involvement with music, writing and gardening while in Gilroy, Susan was very gifted with sewing, needle point, and making things for the home.  She made chair cushions, curtains, quilts, and many other things.  When her daughter requested to have her room redecorated in purple for her 8th birthday, Susan took it upon herself to do this completely by hand.  She sewed purpled duvet covers, pillow cases, curtains, table runners, and she and David painted the furniture white and the walls light purple.  To Elaine’s delight, her birthday brought an unveiling of a completely new bedroom, all in purple.

She enjoyed being a mother and being able to rediscover the world through Elaine’s eyes. She was conscientious and observant and tried to parent with intentionality and love, while learning more about herself and the world around her.  

In 1992, the family moved to Troutdale, OR where Susan continued her gardening and writing.  In 2005, David and Susan bought a house with three acres in Corbett, OR, where Susan pushed her gardening skills to the limit.  While in the Pacific Northwest, Susan was invited to join the Corbett Garden Club, participated in the local chapter of IONS (Institute of Noetic Sciences), expanded her awareness and political activity for social justice, and marched against war.

Susan’s approach to life was that of a constant learner.  She voraciously studied and read about any thing that might peak her interest.  She was never content with basic information, but always had a thirst for knowledge, understanding, and connection.
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After struggling with melanoma, Susan passed away peacefully, surrounded by family, on March 17, 2012. Susan is survived by her husband David Drom (Corbett, OR), her daughter Elaine Zuber (Santa Clara, CA), her parents Carlos and Diane Gonzales (Torrance, CA), and her brothers John Gonzales (Monte Sereno, CA) and Daniel Gonzales (San Francisco, CA).  Susan had one granddaughter, and was expecting another granddaughter in July 2012.

There will be a local memorial to celebrate Susan’s life on Thursday, March 22, 2012 at 4:00pm at Trinity Lutheran Church in Gresham.  A second memorial will be held in Torrance, CA at Christ the King Lutheran Church on Saturday, March 31, 2012 at 3:00pm.  In lieu of flowers or gifts, the family would prefer donations in Susan’s name to the American Friends Service Committee.
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Here are some of my favorite photos of my mom over the years.  There are no words to describe the lack of her presence in the world, but I hope you enjoy seeing her beautiful smile.

 

After college, age 23

 

My parent's wedding, age 23, 1979

In matching handmade dresses to match Elaine's American Girl Doll, age 34

 In the garden in Corbett, OR 

 A break from scything, Corbett, OR

At grandparent's 50th Wedding Anniversary

 At my wedding, 2007

 

After a major snow in Corbet, OR, 2008

 

With Emeline for the first time, 2010

 

With Emeline

 With my dad and Emeline

 

Four Generations at Emeline's first birthday

 Showing Emeline the plants at Rancho San Antonio